Don’t Leave Me!
I have been traveling lately - a lot! Luca has learned to fear the suitcase. Once this strange rectangular piece of fabric that he is not allowed to chew on emerges from the attic, he runs and hides under the kitchen table. Poor pup.
What is it about the fear of being left that is innate to most creatures? Even one of my daughter’s cats freaks out at the sight of the suitcase - the other one in true cat fashion could care less.
A dear friend of mine is dealing with the separation anxiety of her toddler. For his first year of life, a family member kept him, but for the last five months, the daycare experience has played out like a Victorian melodrama. A video her husband sent her recently helped…a little. Her son played peacefully alongside his little buddy for at least 30 to 45 seconds with his back turned to his dad’s phone. All his dad did was utter a simple, “Hey.” Immediately, a pitiful whine began. The little one didn’t turn to his dad. He very politely took his toy to his teacher, dramatically turned to his daddy, burst into crocodile tears, and made a run for the door! The video cut out on his dad’s laughter.
My friend understands her son is fine once he calms down after she leaves him, but that daily freak out leaves her unsettled for hours. I frequently recount to her the time I backed out of daycare into a tree, knocked the bumper off my car, got out, placed the crumpled aluminum alloy in the back seat of my car, and pulled away squalling as I went. Unbeknownst to me, my daughter and her day care worker watched from the window and giggled at my plight. But as I think about this fear of being left, I am reminded of one of Satan's very favorite tactics.
Blaise Pascal - you may remember him from science class when you studied Pascal’s Law - said “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.”
Satan does his best to destroy relationships that should be the precursors that help us know and understand God: the parent relationship; the sibling relationship; aunts, uncles, cousins, friends; you get the picture. So if Satan can swoop in and destroy a relationship that should be formational and foundational by planting the fear of abandonment - that seed roots deep in a heart and is difficult to eradicate.
Later in our lives, our greatest nemesis continues to wedge and pressure against our relationships with family and friends and eventually spouses and significant others. He begins to use things like death and disease to heighten the fear of loss and separation and isolation until no wonder people crack under the anxiety of it all.
Because I’m old(ish), I like it when we sing the old hymns. I enjoy the new praise music too, but the old stuff always gets me in my feels. This morning in church, we sang Because He Lives. Imagine my surprise when I picked up my 1956 edition of my Baptist hymnal and couldn’t find the lyrics. That’s because this hymn didn’t make its debut until the mid 1970s when Gloria and Bill Gaither worked their musical magic. Now I am really caught up in my feels because the Gaithers musically walked me through my younger years.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Fear of being left…
Fear of abandonment…
Fear of falling…because we are fallen. We are born with that fear. All of us. The God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man, woman, and child on this earthly plane.
Satan exploits that fear with expert precision regardless of country of origin, socio-economic status, religion, race, or political affiliation.
In Romans, Paul very clearly defines what Blaise Pascal calls the God-shaped vacuum.
For his invisible attributes, that is, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen since the creation of the world being understood through what he has made. Romans 1:19
Our hearts yearn for the invisible attributes - his eternal power and divine nature. And Satan tries to cloud that view and tell us to look everywhere but at Jesus. He wants us to believe Jesus is difficult to understand, and a man who cannot be trusted. Look, our father was a terrible person. Well, our mother left when we were small and never looked back. My husband replaced me with a younger version, then another younger version, then another, and our kids are completely messed up because of it. I could plant scenarios for pages and pages. Seeds growing deep in the heart of every human - difficult to eradicate.
For anyone who truly fears being abandoned, Satan consumes them with the fear of being left. They seek to fill their vacuum with the promise he pushes in their direction. Bad drink. Bad men. Bad medicine. Bad debt. Bad choices. Bad self-talk. Pages and Pages. Seeds growing deep in the heart of every human - difficult to eradicate.
We all seek that which will not abandon us.
Reality - all things leave us. Luca will leave me one day. Maybe I will leave him first. Who knows? Death will claim those I love. Death will claim me. I will not take anything I currently own or will own in the future with me when I go. Nor will I take anyone I love.
So what hope is there for me when those roots of fear bind my heart so tightly I can't even breathe?
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because He lives
Somehow, I have forgotten the second verse of Because He Lives - I only remembered the first. Somehow, I know Ms Gatheir wrote this second stanza - maybe after she had to drop a little one off at daycare.
How sweet to hold our newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy he gives
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days
Because Christ lives
I too can face uncertain days because Christ lives…and so can you my friend.
Learn this Lesson from Luca, Because he lives, all fear is gone. Know who holds your future. Know the One who will NEVER leave you because He made you. He designed you and knows how to fill the vacuum in every heart.
Because He Lives © 1971 William J. Gaither, Inc.
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