What is the greatest love story ever told? Romeo and Juliet? I hate it when people pick that one. My opinion is that their poorly underdeveloped frontal lobes and terrible parenting caused them to listen to horrible advice resulting in devastating consequences...but I digress. Casablanca? I’m a sucker for Casablanca but the ending… Pride and Prejudice? Also a sucker for Mr. Darcy, but he really can ruin dating if you try to compare…
I will now add Hayley and Michael’s perfect wedding. I received a blessing simply by being an observer of the celebration of their love. The bonus, this celebration will be recognized in years to come as the event that rallied us from our Covid isolation. As the guests filtered into the reception and moved along the delicious buffet, what was lost was now found. Blessed community. Friends who haven’t seen one another in over a year, maskless, saw smiles, felt hugs, and experienced fellowship. Laughter rang from every corner. Joy ruled. Not one single person present looked cranky, pinched, or otherwise moody. What we have missed over the last year!
This entire day set me thinking about love. And how unloving people seem to be...ALL the time. People are complicated, relationships are tricky, and two sides are guaranteed to every story. Sadly, if we look at the most current statistics regarding love in America, love is not winning the day. The recent 2020 census data includes the following:
an 8% decrease in the overall marriage rate in the last ten years
Baby Boomers age 60+ divorce at a higher rate than any other age group
The states with the lowest overall income levels have the highest divorce rates, and the states with the highest income levels have the lowest divorce rates but also the lowest marriage rates.
The average year for marriage dissolution is year eight.
Divorce rates are higher for subsequent marriages than first marriages.
Children of non-divorced parents are least likely to be divorced as adults, but children of parents who divorced and remarried are most likely to divorce as adults.
Asian-Americans are the least likely to divorce followed by Hispanics. Currently approximately 38% of Caucasian marriages, 42% of African American marriages, and 45 % of Native American marriages are ending in divorce.
The census includes statistics for same sex couples, but the results possess miniscule differences with the primary one of note being the higher rates of divorce between same sex female couples than for same sex male couples. (1)
Being human is hard. Staying in relationships and keeping them successful is hard. People are complicated, relationships are tricky, and two sides are guaranteed to every story.
So why are we constantly surprised with modern culture when everyone chooses sides and firmly remains entrenched in their rightness and the other side must be wrong? This is the pattern in which we have raised our kids for at least a generation now. And that generation is now raising their children. Mom/Dad - Red/Blue - Us/ Them All issues reduced to split custody arrangements, 30 second sound bites or 280 characters. If you don’t agree with me you must be my enemy. Right?
But being human is hard. Staying in relationships and keeping them successful is hard. People are complicated, relationships are tricky, and two sides are guaranteed to every story. When complex people with complicated issues are crammed into pre-packaged perceptions, big misunderstandings happen, and tolerance and grace disappear as the darkness of Satan’s laughter ulcerates the human heart until all love seems lost.
So what is the greatest love story ever told?
(Madonna of the Lilies by William-Adolphe Bouguereau)
For God so loved the word, He sent His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life! John 3:16
You see, the reality unfolds that there is no Mom vs Dad - Red vs Blue - Us or Them. There is only Fallen and Forgiven.
The next verse following John 3:16 says, For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. John 3:17
I am going to cherish Hayley and Michael’s special day for a long time. Their love for God shined in their ceremony more than their love for each other. That memory will point me back to these verses...to the only great love that will ever bring wholeness or healing or peace or joy in this broken and weary world. And Jesus was not sent to condemn so who am I to point fingers and choose sides? People are complicated, relationships are tricky, and two sides are guaranteed to every story.
But we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God. That is the one side we are all on. Praise God I am Fallen but Forgiven. Please Lord, teach me how to better love my neighbor and always choose you as my greatest love.
1. Bureau, US Census. “Families & Living Arrangements.” The United States Census Bureau, 15 Dec. 2020, www.census.gov/topics/families.html.
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